SOLAEDEZIRO

At this hour of dawn- this unfortunate juncture,

When the Sun and the Moon tighten themselves up into an affectionate embrace…..

And unite in a sumptuous lip lock,

Knowing very well that the latter would be saying ‘adieu’ very soon;

The impeccable white clouds float aimlessly, mocking this futile attempt of love!

At this hour of leave-taking, I drift off into an unknown world- Solaedeziro-

Running in parallel tracks with reality….reality that is hemmed in

Helplessness…..lovelessness! I escape; I transcend,

All that is empty and cross the threshold of this untainted virgin land.

Where, no one calls you a ‘sinner’

No one calls me a ‘temptress’,

Where the love that comes to me is solely mine…..

Not stolen from the treasures of some hapless woman,

Where we have built our heaven together- safe from all invasions.

Solaedeziro is so full of lawlessness- a dream yet so tangible!

Here there are no ramrod norms-

Even the Sun and the Moon are not denied their hour of togetherness,

Their hearts are not severed by the laws of the cosmos;

The clouds here are not sly mocking neighbours…..

                                                             but considerate friends,

Protecting this newfound union from the vigilant eyes of the cruel world.

Here in this rainforest, where darkness fuses with the beams of the Sun

To perpetuate the melody of the soul; is our cottage-

Built in some some subtle Gothic fashion- carved out of your masculinity,

                                        ………..decked with my creativity!

Zubai, our tortuous little river, has daily mood swings-

Sometimes a meek caterpillar, sometimes an appalling serpent!

Yet we adore her…..because she stays a witness to all those volcanoes of passion,

Which erupt on her banks…..nearby, stands an ancient banyan tree;

With its aerial roots……like some wise hermit who knows ,

That love can never be a sin….never!

Every night after your day of hard work you return,

With flowers that bloom in the forest…..their mesmeric fragrance signal your arrival,

Even when you are miles away……

Sometimes you forget to get them and then you look at me,

                                  Those innocent boyish eyes of yours full of apology,

But I run to the room sighing, and slam the door behind me,

You know that I love throwing tantrums….

Yet your heart aches at the thought of impending separation,

You walk leisurely towards your beloved……like wading through turbulent waters,

Come to my door and chant in your echoing voice-

Hey meetaha, twamasi mama jeevanam, twamasi mama bhusanam,

Twamasi mama jaladhitaratnam.

I reluctantly open the door……the kohl in my eyes smudged with tears,

And you at once pull me into your arms and shower innumerable kisses on my forehead.

I love the warmth of your body…..it completes me somehow,

And then , as we lose ourselves in the dreamland of unending ecstasy…..

Outside the window; the needles of the deodar tree

Lie shivering against the glowing full moon!

The silvery waves of Zubai break on the moss-encrusted bank-

Where lies tethered our canary- colored boat.

The newly-in-love cuckoos sing a tune…….as pure as the smile of a suckling infant;

A tune that penetrates our bodies to vibrate in our hearts…..

                                                                      dwelling there forever!

I had made up my mind to grow old with you in Solaedeziro,

But just then the Sun- anguished by the separation from his beloved,

Hurled his furious rays on me- threatening to char my dream!

Tears welled up in my eyes as the doom and despair of this noxious world

Drowned my body in pain….I felt like a boat capsized in a tempest!

But then the tears froze….the boat regained its stability;

As I realized that Solaedeziro was like a prized pearl encased in a shell just for me,

I could always unravel it and find solace in its uncontaminated glow,

                                                            …..whenever I decided to.

We’ll always feel the snake fangs of betrayal here- Even the Sun and the Moon couldn’t escape!

But there in Solaedeziro- where magnanimity prevails and prejudice perishes,

Where love triumphs and hatred succumbs,

There we shall carve a nest for us!

Now the wronged Sun cannot be pacified anymore,

The heat of his agony is excruciating and unyielding!

So, as Solaedeziro keeps becoming vague….and reality starts shoving its dagger into me;

I glimpse your image eternal, O Solaedeziro! As you vanish into the secret chamber of my heart,

But not forever……At the blissful hour of dusk;

When the Sun shall find his soulmate once again- though for a little time,

Then once again,  I shall take you out of your shell-case;

   …….and drift off into your land of love and hope,

                          ……..again and again……..

– Kuntal Sen, MD

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